New Jersey, USA
Dearest Reader,
My name is Sonia and I am a trained Nurse from Germany and an Apex Care Professional in New Jersey, USA.
It is with deepest affection, gratitude and happiness that I nominate the exceptional Radcliff Family for Host family of the Year. Due to my profession, I am trained to observe closely, listen carefully, respond intentionally and feel the finest of changes in atmosphere and recognize the right environments where people can thrive. The Radcliff home is one of them. In this essay, I tried my best to find the right words that could do justice to the unwavering dedication this wonderful family embodies each day.
In nursing, I learned to listen closely to rhythm- to the sound of life and vitality, the steady sound of a heartbeat, a breath, a system that works in harmony. Stability is not always loud, but it is always steady. Regulated. Intentional. Consistent. The moment I stepped into their home, I sensed a rhythm: a rhythm of compassion, love, deep mutual respect and a humor that weaves through their every day. A rhythm that is quiet in its strength, yet steady and full of vitality. Just as no organ works in isolation, this family wouldn’t function the same without each of its members. Each and everyone brings something unique and valuable and together they create something extraordinary.
Caitlin and Tim form the head of the family. They are the kind of people who listen intently, not just to give a rushed answer but to deeply understand the other person’s perspective. They are the kind of people who get along with everyone and are just impossible to have a grudge against. They lead their lives with sincerity and attentiveness.
At their house cultural exchange is not just a phrase- it is a mind-set. Conversations swiftly go from childhood trips, to time spend abroad and lessons learned, to differences in childhood education and raising children. Last Summer, we went to Greece and met their much loved, previous CP who happened to have greek roots. Leading up to that trip, you could often find Tim in his car listening to a podcast that taught Greek and also engaging the girls in it on a longer car ride. This is an example for their consistent dedication to consciously open up their hearts and minds to others. They model openness, respect and curiosity in the most natural ways which also get the children engaged in a playful manner.
Caitlin is an organizational mastermind who keeps daily life running smoothly. She is an amazing chef, great singer and infectious dancer- and humble as can be. The way she holds and guides her children through big emotions- with an impressive amount of patience everyday- are testament to the affection and warmth she has for her children.
Tim brings humor, creativity and an entertaining piano-jingle to the mix. He is also crazily talented taking pictures. In fact, many of the photos in this essay can be credited to him. He is the impersonification of hidden talents and he is the calm and balance to all that girlpower pulsing through the house.
Together, Caitlin and Tim bring a steadiness and dedication- celebrating progress over perfection and never confusing patience with limitation.
The heart of the home though, are their three daughters, aged four, nine and twelve, each with her own rhythm, interests and spark which in the end all comes together to a beautiful symphony. Yes, it does not need to be said that it sometimes can be loud- and slightly chaotic- but more importantly it is always full of life, laughter and love.
The youngest one, radiates an infectious joy, fearless curiosity, and remarkable thoughtfulness with sharp observations, especially for her young age. The middle one approaches the world with a clever mind, a warm smile, a vibrant energy and a thousand different outlets of creativity and at least a million different interests.
The eldest, faces the world with unfiltered, pure joy, a laughter you can’t stop yourself from joining, passion and a steady, yet quiet resilience, that is nothing short of inspiring.
The growth and progress everyone had over this past year -but especially the oldest one- has been absolutely remarkable. When I first met her last year, I saw a child full of potential- and everytime I am stunned by her determination to strive toward more independence, her intelligence and her ability to exceed expectations with the right environment to help her grow. Skills that once seemed unattainable are now within reach- not by accident but due to dedication, consistency, intentional love, structure, humor and persistent advocacy.
Due to working as a nurse and also having to watch my grandmother through a long disease that caused her death the year before I came and finding the right support for my maternal grandmother whose independence declined starkly, I know how heavy advocacy can feel. Yet, the Radcliffs are handling this invisible labor with grace, resilience and determination: hours of search for therapies, sport programs, coordinating communication between doctors, specialists, therapists, communication with school, organizing play dates and activities that keep her stimulated, active and socially engaged without overwhelming her. Caitlin and Tim advocate for their children the way they love them- fiercely, thoughtfully and with all they’ve got.
This family simply has the gift to see potential in others and to draw it out gently. Sometimes it feels like they see potential before it fully shows itself. They believe before proof is visible. All of the children are encouraged not just to grow individually, but also to lift one another up and grow as a team. This creates a home where support and respect are fostered daily. For example, whenever her sisters help her practice her s-sounds while waiting for dinner or during car rides or reminding her to breathe through her nose, which was not possible for a long time but now is. This gentle, but consistent persistence makes the difference.
The Radcliffs are living a life full of warmth, intention and affection. They are very attentive to things running off course, so before things could fall apart or cause problems they get addressed with love, intention, open communication and creative thinking. Together, we adjust things proactively. This way we learned that smaller bottles can create more independence, Montessori-knives are a safe way to let the children feel more capable- thoughtful routines and small adjustments that lead to a more independent life and empower the girls rather than overwhelm them. What I found is that Caitlin and Tim respond rather than react. Instead of dividing them, challenges draw them closer as a family. Yet, they do not only provide strength and support to their children, they extent that same steadiness to me. It is a kind of reassurance that goes way deeper than just a simple moment. I am often reminded how much that means and how important it is to feel that reassurance. It helped me feel the security I needed to grow the way I did here. Also something that makes me feel special and cared for each time again is when they proactively go out of their way to support me like offer me rides to the train station or the airport, especially considering their busy schedules.
In their home, gratitude is spoken often, laughter comes easily, and love is something you feel the moment you walk in. Through my profession as a nurse, I came to learn that resilience is rooted in regulation. When there is dysregulation in a system, instability inevitably follows. When there is attunement on the other hand it leads to stability. Spending much time with this family, I see this attunement every day. This leads to a home being grounded in compassion, resilience, intentional care and love even when facing hardships.
Instead of worrying that the oldest one might let her nurse and van wait when getting ready for school they gave me the reassurance that it is a minor thing to worry about when instead of being right on time, the oldest daughter learns to live more independently. Now she gets dressed by herself for school. Instead of focusing on fear and appearance in front of others, they choose to focus on growth, space and time to learn. Moments like these are not accidental, they are a result of trust- Trust in the process, trust in me and trust in her abilities.
As with life, not everything is smooth sailing, and when differences arise, just as in any family, I know that I am supported in my decisions and have Caitlins and Tims support. This shows me how valued, respected and supported I am in this family. It is a kind of reassurance that goes way deeper than just a simple moment. I am often reminded how much that means and how important it is to feel that reassurance, especially when I am talking to other CP’s. It also does not just strengthen me but the unity of the house as a whole.
There is one thing that helps us get through the harder days, when there is just a little more lightness needed, that thing is humor. It flows through this family like a steady neural current- quietly regulating, gently healing and strengthening every connection. It restores balance and brings much needed lightness to the struggles of daily life, especially on harder days.
What makes this family truly inspiring is not that they face difficulties. Truth be told a lot of families face challenges on a daily basis, but how the Radcliffs are facing them. They face challenges with laughter, face exhaustion with grace and poise and show unwavering teamwork when others might fall apart. They model for their children how they would like them to respond to problems, challenges and other people in the most effective, subconsciously and meaningful way – not through speeches (yet you should hear their cards and gratefulness speeches) but through embodying them personally.
Also starting this year I was once again reminded how much I thrive when I embody gratefulness and appreciation. This made me realize how much gratefulness and appreciation is lived in this house hold. There has never been a day when I haven’t heard at least one sincere thank you. Most of the time even more than that. And it is not just a phrase, it is an awareness – a true appreciation for the people around them and the ability to see all the blessings Lord has given them. Gratitude is not an occasional gesture, a habit, it is a daily activity that shapes the entire atmosphere of the household. They look for the good, even in hardships. They choose to focus on their blessings instead of what is lacking. There have been multiple occasions where I had to shed a tear or two. There have been multiple speeches appreciating the blessings of life and the meaningful people we have in it. This practised gratitude resonates deeply with me.
Frankly, I cannot express the gratitude I feel for them in helping me grow the way I did this past year. I grew both professionally and personally, maybe even in ways I still don’t quite see or understand. But through it all, they have been by my side. Here are some things I learned: I learned more about the importance of regular talks and exchanges to optimise care and progress. It does not always have to be an hour long planned meeting. It just needs to be consistent and with open communication.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned that will shape how I provide care in Germany is asking the right questions. In nursing school we learn to ask the right questions to get straight to the answers you need. This quickly moved to having already fixed check lists and forms you ask everyone or just hand out. Do you have allergies? Which medication do you take?
But which questions are the important ones? I believe those are very important questions everyone should be aware of but what about the questions that form human connection? The ones that tell you which struggles families face at home? So, what I learned is to ask the other right questions. Deeper questions. I always believed I provided patient-centered care- care shaped by compassion, dignity and autonomy, yet I feel like I only learned the real meaning of it and how to provide it, with the Radcliffs. I’ve learned that it doesn’t only involve your patient in the moment he’s in the hospital, it goes deeper. It means making sure his interests and opinions are valued and taken into account, providing dignity and autonomy in the hospital but also understanding his or her life at home: the family dynamic, the sleepless nights, the problems of providing food he/she will eat, the quiet fears and thoughts of failure parents do not voice. I learned that I will have to ask questions that draw people out, to get the full picture, but also because parents hold a wisdom that no textbook or medical chart can match. What I know now is that I need to talk more to patients parents in Germany. I got more sensibilised for which questions I need to ask to draw them out to make sure to get a more full picture of the challenges of patients at home.
With the Radcliffs support, I got to take part in speech sessions of the eldest and practice the homework with her, making remarkable progress. This taught me resilience, teaching with creative learning methods, adaptability, but most importantly it taught me that progress accelerates when therapists, doctors, teachers and parents work together interdiscplinary, rather than working in parallel. It also taught me that it doesn’t matter how long we study at a session but the consistency of it.
Through their consistent support and interest I learned to be more confident, not only in me but also in my knowledge. I found interests in things I never thought of before. Also when personal challenges came up, Caitlin was always there with an open ear and helpful feedback and her wisdom, quickly becoming a steady confidante here in New Jersey. Here, I not just simply provided care- I deepened my understanding of it, I learned that I have a professional voice and I found mine, I got to reclaim my hope for medicine- not as something that fixes and patches things up but instead something that heals and connects. I got reminded why I choose to come here and why I choose my profession in the first place.
In my year here with them, I went through so many emotions. Happiness, peacefulness, sadness- missing my family and friends in Germany, gratitude, affection, tiredness and exhaustion. Yet, everyday, there is always joy. Real joy. The kind of joy that makes it impossible not to celebrate each day. Sometimes it is a loud kind of joy, like when a long awaited trip is there or long awaited movie is out or a hug that comes with lightning speed that just knocks you off balance, and sometimes it is the quiet kind of joy. The kind that sneakes up on you with impromptu dance parties in the kitchen, Taylor Swift- or Kpop Demomunter karaoke-sessions on car rides, sneaking cookie-dough while baking, petting dogs, learning to cut your own pancakes or just ending a nice day with a delicious dessert and memories in the making. The most joy though brings me seeing these brilliant three girls growing more into the beautiful, intelligent and capable personalities they are going to be- probably even someday sooner than later.
This family has become so much more to me than a job or a place to stay. Here, with the Radcliffs I have found a place of belonging. They have welcomed me, a total stranger, not only into their house but also into their hearts and family. From the first moment they have welcomed me, valued my opinion, supported me and allowed me to grow both professionally and also personally. Here, I feel trusted, heard, valued and respected. Having found a safe space here in the middle of unfamiliar terrain, it helped me to thrive. I got to learn more about me than I ever thought I would and explore myself as well as my views and passions more. It restored my passion in medicine and amplified my methods of how to help and support my patients more and have a deeper understanding for their needs.
As a person who crossed the ocean expecting a challenge and an adventure, I have found something that comes by way rarer. I found a second rhythm — steady, grounding, and life-giving. Finding a family so far from where I once began, one that became my point of stability in unfamiliar land, felt as unplanned as a waltz in a beautiful restaurant bathroom: unpredicted, absolutely unexpected, slightly absurd and deeply human. Just like how a moment like that can shift your balance in the most beautiful way, it is something I will carry with me long after this chapter ends.
And that’s why I nominate the Radcliffs for host family of the year.
Start Your Own Apex Journey
At Apex Social, we believe in care that transforms, not just for the children we serve, but for everyone involved. If you’re inspired by the Radcliff family’s story, now is the time to start your own Apex Social journey.
Interested in becoming a host family and welcoming compassionate care into your home?
